63191

Joke of the Day

"Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name."

"Before encouraging everyone to ""do whatever makes you happy,"" ask if anyone is a sadist. Don't encourage the sadists."

"Latvian Jokes Latvian Olympian win silver medal in skeleton. Wishes silver medal was potato. Still is hungry."

"RIP to that hoodie you left at your ex-gf's house. She says she has no idea what youre talkin about but she knows. Wheres my hoodie, Denise?"

"Why do vultures hate flying? Because they have to pay extra for Carrion! Budum tsssss"

"Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch."

"Wanna hear a joke? Two men are about to have a duel and Man #1 tells Man #2 to draw his blade! Well Man #2 takes out some charcoal and papyrus and begins to draw a picture of his sword."

"crisis in the morning, crisis in the evening, crisis at suppertime. in an indifferent universe, you can have an existential crisis anytime!"

"Do you know why one side is longer than the other when birds fly in a ""V"" formation? Because there are more birds on that side."

"I am the Cuba Gooding Jr. of succeeding at something every 8-10 years or so..."