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Joke of the Day

"I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East."

"Lotta dudes in this coffee shop looking poignant."

"What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player? The baseball player has all of its limbs."

"Bros were dying to know the song I had playing on the gym speakers, said it activated beast mode for them. It was ""Tracy chapman - fast car"""

"I wish I was invisible & could fly... I'd then beat up a mime and see how much applause he gets."

"A friend of mine in law enforcement doesn't like The Clash. I guess you could say that sheriff don't like it."

"What do you call 4 dicks tied together? An erectangle."

"[teen me w/GF in my dad's car] Me: You wanna do it? Her: *giggling* Yes Me: *hears voice whisper no glove, no love* GET OUT OF THE CAR MOM"

"A seal walks into a bar A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, ""What's your pleasure?"" The seal replies, ""Anything but Canadian Club."""

"My job testing fizzy drinks is really getting to me... It's soda grading."