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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl? The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back"

"TIFU by spraying water on a topless model Now all the seats are wet"

"I got arrested... I got arrested for punching a guy at a new years party, when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"If Chef Boyardee was a dictator what would he name his secret police? Gazpacho"

"My library charges me a dollar for every book I check out. It's a paper-view."

"Did you hear the joke about the Irish city? You'll be Dublin over in laughter when you do."

"So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust... I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party."

"First time flying huh? -Yeah how could you tell? Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage."

"Yep. Not sure what freaked out the mailman more - that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived."

"Juneau what Juneau is the capital of? No?... I guess Alaska professional!"