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Joke of the Day

"I got arrested... I got arrested for punching a guy at a new years party, when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb? He really wasn't feeling up to it."

"I never question my sanity, I'm afraid it will answer back."

"WTF!!!! My son just called me the N-word!! Neglectful"

"I think I missed the driver ed class on how inching forward every 5 seconds at a red light makes it turn green faster."

"Why are quantum physicists bad lovers? When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position."

"Don't say ""ATM machine"". The ""M"" already stands for ""machine"". It's redundant. It's like saying ""end result"" or ""racist Fox News Anchor""."

"I've got sexy women on me like white on rice Fried rice that is."

"I have the body of an eighteen year old I keep it in the fridge"

"Gangster shift keys pop a couple caps in dAt aSs."