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Joke of the Day

"Why does Bono sing acapella when he's feeling down? It takes the edge off it"

"Hey girl, are you an overdue library book? Cuz I'm gonna stuff you in the back of my car then forget about you"

"Why couldn't Miley Cyrus go to the party? She had to go t'work instead."

"Afghani drinking game for Cricket World Cup car bombs"

"'You never get anything right' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school ?' 'Well I want to be the weather girl on TV.'"

"Who always wins the insect election? The lesser of two weevils."

"*gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER"

"Damn girl, are you Daenerys Targaryen? Because that ass could take over the world. Haha don't know if this is used or not yet but I dreamt up this joke so enjoy."

"Last night after we had sex I asked my wife if she was faking it and she said ""no, I really was asleep."""

"I've spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can't find his nuggets."