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Joke of the Day

"Hey girl, are you an overdue library book? Cuz I'm gonna stuff you in the back of my car then forget about you"

"How do you know when you're REALLY drunk ? ANS - When you are lying face down in your front lawn and you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off."

"How many Mormons do you take fishing with you? Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer."

"Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it."

"Nostalgia ain't what it used to be"

"*runs into the back of wife's leg with the grocery cart for the 5th time* me: We meet agai- wife: Go wait in the car me: Ok"

"Did you hear about the man who was born without any ears? Niether did he."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beck ! Beck who ? Beckfast of champions !"

"Something came in the mail today... My taxes"

"Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a convicted felon and it is clear that prison life wasn't easy on him. It doesn't help that Six is, naturally, a little timid."