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Joke of the Day

"What is eternity? Two self-conscious guys taking a shit in a public restroom."

"TIL Only three types of mammals go through menopause. The Blue Whale, The Beluga Whale, and You're Mom"

"Are you from Russia? Cause I'm Putin deez nuts on yo face."

"Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail? He was taking a look around"

"Why are 9/11 victims the best readers? They can go through 94 stories in seconds! Edit: Please don't hurt me."

"What's a rabbits' favorite book? Hop on Pop."

"Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL."

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."

"Why are the landmarks in Paris quarantined? Because they are parasites"

"Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter."