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Joke of the Day

"A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran"

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Lego man: Is it because I'm block?"

"How many Mormons does it take to drink a 12 pack of beer? One if nobody is watching."

"I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then."

"ME: ""I don't like this movie."" HIM: ""We are at a funeral."" ME: ""Who directed this?"" HIM: ""A bear attack."" ME: ""Never heard of him."""

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his wife? Wipes his ass."

"What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love? Yeah you like that you dirty pore?"

"I robbed a lamppost with words printed on it. It's ok, I didn't get in trouble though. You don't get karma from text posts."

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other."

"Apple products Remove the USB port and nobody bats an eye. Remove the headphone jack and everybody loses their minds!"