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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillowcases? They're really making headlines."

"Knock Knock Knock knock Who's there? Daisy Daisy who? DAISY ME ROLLING, THEY HATING"

"Why did the foot smile? He was toe very happy. Jesus that is awful."

"How do you excite an idiot? I'll tell you later."

"My dad taught me the importance of having convictions in life. Ten felonies later, I now know that some words have more than one meaning."

"Oh good, a gift card to Arby's. *waits for their birthday* Them: Thanks Aimee for the... *opens box* (cat hair pasted to paper & framed)"

"Right now the owner of Men's Health magazine is beating an editor who forgot to include the phrase 'rock-hard abs' on this month's cover."

"What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"The human soul weighs 1.2lbs. I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into my job"

"If your Uncle Jack was stuck on the horse... Would you help your uncle jack off the horse?"