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Joke of the Day

"Right now the owner of Men's Health magazine is beating an editor who forgot to include the phrase 'rock-hard abs' on this month's cover."

"My DNA results came back and apparently I'm .0002% aardvark. Which pretty much answers all the questions I've ever had. About anything."

"Back off, doc. I'll close this wound. Suture self."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire. Necks please!"

"Humans pretend to be smart but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we're suddenly gonna have x-ray vision"

"What's a four letter word for intercourse ending with K? Talk"

"My physics teacher said i have potential and then pushed me down the stairs"

"Smoking studies done on monkeys have shown that compared to the non smoking group, the smoking group looks significantly cooler."

"My wife said to me: ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"" I said: ""Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."""

"Have You Heard About the new KFC Hilary Clinton Special. its 2 small breasts, 2 large thighs and 2 left wings"