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Joke of the Day

"Ever been to the Tower of Pisa? the security is pretty lenient"

"Bless you, my son... What is the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits for puberty before coming on his face."

"I thought I just had a bad headache but according to WebMD I'm a conjoined twin slowly dying from jaundice."

"What do you call a Muslim organization that rejects Muhammed? A non-prophet"

"A Buddhist monk approaches a burger food truck... ... And says ""make me one with everything""."

"Son, I found some drugs in your backpack ""Dad I swear they're not mine"" DAMMIT SUSAN, THEY ARENT HIS. 1st time we were proud and you blew it"

"I painted 1 room & then the hallway and room next to it looked kinda shabby and I'm guessing this is how plastic surgery gets out of hand."

"*grammar police reads ransom note* ""Bring the money hear in too days, or she dead"" *grammar cop dies* ""Damn, he had 2 days until retirement"""

"Can someone tell me the exact crime I need to commit to get put on house arrest because legally having to cancel plans sounds incredible."

"What kind of jackets do Audiophiles wear? FLAC jackets"