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Joke of the Day

"I painted 1 room & then the hallway and room next to it looked kinda shabby and I'm guessing this is how plastic surgery gets out of hand."

"Why are they called One Direction? Looks to me like they go both ways."

"Why do husbands typically die before their wives? They want to."

"What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.... Zing!!"

"First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year."

"How do you surprise Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"

"My Proctologist does horoscopes which, I guess, makes him an Asstrologist."

"What is Donald Trump's favourite drink? A white Russian."

"I hear if you are a woman in a relationship you have a better chance of getting a ring than LeBron does. pow. bam."

"Titanic sank 103 years ago... ...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!"