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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"Jurassic Park I was watching Jurassic park the other day, when I thought, ""not only does my son have a stupid name, but hes also a shit driver"""

"What are the two fastest things in the world? Second fastest: your butthole snapping shut. Fastest: That little drop of water..."

"What's the last thing you hear before a pubic hair falls to the ground? *spits*"

"How do you make a little boy cry twice when your finished wipe your dick on his favourite teddy bear"

"U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn't have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything"

"Studies show That 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy"

"I regret having to say this, but it's the cold, hard truth. Never put a PayDay bar in the refridgerator. Damn thing is impossible to eat now."

"So happy I got to see ""bucket list"" added to the dictionary before I die."

"I'm writing a book on procrastination I'm only on page 1 sadly"