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Joke of the Day

"Don't get it. Heard the phrase ""keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir"". Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me."

"Everything is made in China. Except for babies. They're made in VaChina."

"What begins with an ""s"", ends with a ""x"" and leaves a guy blown away? Semtex."

"So i said to my wife... ""Every time you correct my grammar, I love you a little bit fewer"""

"I predict the iPad's small-but-not-quite-small-enough size will be a source of great consternation for fanny pack enthusiasts."

"Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk."

"I am voting for Donald Trump because he will personally end racism in America... Racism can't exist if everybody's white."

"The chicken Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was to chicken."

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back."

"What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand? He screws, nuts, and bolts"