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Joke of the Day

"Miley Cyrus has her tongue out more than Jabba the Hutt."

"""Uh-oh!"" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog"

"I like the alt-ending version of Se7en where there are donuts in that box and Morgan Freeman pulls a jug of cold milk out of his jacket"

"After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide CHECK CZECH CHEQUES"

"Sex is like air; its not important unless you arent getting any."

"I'm about to watch 'Funny or Die' on HBO. Wow. Now I'm nervous.. I hope I laugh.."

"I asked Dumbledore what 3 + 5 was. It didn't know the answer because it was a dumb old door."

"My doctor won't go away. I know what you're thinking but he has been eating small pieces of apple over many decades to build up an immunity."

"What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB? They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again."

"What is the best part of a Jonestown joke? The punchline"