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Joke of the Day

"Argument with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement... . . . . . At the end, you ignore everything and click 'I agree'."

"Did you hear about the pyromaniac who was on the dating website? He was looking for the perfect match."

"""Where do escalators come from?"" ""Well, when an Escalade and an alligator love each other very much..."""

"I always wondered why a Frisbee looks like it gets bigger & bigger the closer it comes to you.. and then it hit me."

"I asked my lawyer cousin, an orthodox Jewish man, his opinion on gay marriage He said ""that would be GREAT for business"""

"Interviewer : So you're super fast at math? Me : Yup I : Ok, what's 346x48? Me : 804 I : That's not correct Me : Fast though."

"What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public? a private tooter."

"Iron Man and the Silver Surfer should team up. They'd be strong alloys."

"How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains."

"a haunted house but it's just people paying bills and waiting in line at the DMV"