213928

Joke of the Day

"I always wondered why a Frisbee looks like it gets bigger & bigger the closer it comes to you.. and then it hit me."

"Whats the worst thing about dating a terrorist? Doesn't matter if you come or not, they're getting blown anyway. Thought up this at work"

"You know when guys pee, and they shake their pen!s for that last drop? ...........That's how much gas I got for 2 dollars."

"Her: Baby, do that thing that makes me hot Me: *kisses her neck* H: *slaps me* I MEANT turn the thermostat up dummy, it's freezing in here"

"The lady at the massage parlor asked if I wanted a happy ending, I said yes and then she proceeded to tell me the plot of Homeward Bound."

"Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri? To show the opossum it could be done."

"""Do you need help with your math homework Billy?"" ""Yeah I sure do Dad!"" ""Well you're shit out of luck"""

"Why do French bakers listen to death metal? Because all they touch is pain."

"Everyone at this whistling convention looks extremely suspicious."

"I used to live right in the core of the Big Apple. Unfortunately I had to move because it was a bit too seedy."