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Joke of the Day

"The Jolly Green Giant is into bondage. I guess you could call him a collared green."

"What do a woman and a toilet seat have in common? Without a hole in the middle they wouldn't be good for shit. (Wife told me this one)"

"What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11? 10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion"

"Why did the condom fly across the room? It got pissed off."

"I updated my drivers on my laptop and now I have all kinds of pop ups...thanks Microsoft!"

"My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought ""Wow, that could have been me!"" But I can't drive a bus."

"Q: What kind of monkey can fly? A: A hot air baboon."

"What do the LGBT community and computers have in common? Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!"

"At least once a day I say ""nice to meet you"" to someone I've already met which is a great feeling for all involved."

"I'm trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie but there are just too many holes in the plot."