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Joke of the Day
"Two squirrels in the backyard. But they are not playing together. Wonder if there's history."
Next Joke
"A woman was accused of attacking her husband with several guitars. When she got in front of the judge he asked, ""first offender?"" She replied, ""No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."""
"Medical prices these days are ridiculous Why, something as simple as an amputation costs an arm and a leg."
"Any woman who chooses to have sex with me, gets the short end of *that* transaction."
"A man walks into a library and asks the Mexican librarian which section would have information about Guppies. The librarian answers... ""Microfiche""."
"The leader of my weekly therapy group told me that doing positive things gives you happiness. So now I only have sex with hookers who say they're positive."
"What do you call an epileptic cow? Beef jerky."
"Teenage son gets academic honors every year in school, yet he can't cut a straight line with a lawnmower. I believe I am being played......"
"My brother got sent to prison for something he didn't do. He didn't wear gloves."
"Today was boring, I hung around in my underwear all day... got kicked out of quite a few businesses though."