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Joke of the Day

"A woman was accused of attacking her husband with several guitars. When she got in front of the judge he asked, ""first offender?"" She replied, ""No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."""

"What is something that is brown and sticky? A stick."

"I hate it when I'm having the most delicious meal in the world and someone walks into the kitchen and tells me to get out of their house."

"How many architects does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but he has to coordinate ten other professionals who are doing this quiet complicated task."

"Boss: Why weren't you at work last week? Me: Why are you living in the past?"

"Toilets can be so full of shit sometimes."

"Never ever marry a tennis player Love means nothing to them"

"My wife said that I need to pay more attention to what's going on around me. So, in 2010, I'm going to try harder."

"Why did Jesus get pulled over for drunk driving? He had a blood alcohol content of 12.00%. It's made of wine, after all."

"whats black and doesn't work? decaf coffee, you racist bastard!"