212860

Joke of the Day

"Teenage son gets academic honors every year in school, yet he can't cut a straight line with a lawnmower. I believe I am being played......"

"What is a cow's favorite Bob Seger song? Night moooves. Sorry..."

"How do you kill a book? You break its spine."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Triskaidekaphobia."

"What do you get when you cross an ape and a black person?? A really stupid ape"

"I accidentally pooed my pants in an elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"Seize the day! *Sees the day, goes back to bed*"

"What do you call a dead bee? A was."

"Did you know that if Hillary Clinton is elected as the U.S. President, she would be the first president to have ever slept with another president."

"Why do they keep records of people who died due to alcohol, but not the records of people who were born thanks to it?"