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Joke of the Day

"Why are the Irish so rich? Their capital is always Dublin. Hehe"

"McD's drive thru: Welcome back. Me: Welcome back? That's pretty presumptuous. MDT: ... M: ... MDT: The usual? Me: Yeah. Thanks Brenda."

"I've Noticed Bernie Sanders is Wearing a Ballcap Now at his Rallies. If he wants to invigorate his base shouldn't he be wearing a trilby?"

"is it considered a threesome if i jack off with both hands?"

"God's first concept for a long-necked quadriped was just a rough giraffe."

"So they have warning signs for drivers to look out for pedestrians on their cell phone now. Put up warning signs for pedestrians that the driver might be looking at their cellphone. Problem solved"

"I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you're mistaken ...its pronounced sexy."

"A husband and wife talk about the weather... She's too wet and he says it's coming down hard."

"I walked up 14 flights of stairs, so I'm all done with exercise this month."

"Nice tan. I'm guessing your mother is white & your father's a sweet potato?"