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Joke of the Day

"I had my work appraisal yesterday. The boss said, ""There is no I in team."" To which I replied, ""But there is a U in cu*t."""

"H: What is that you're having for lunch? Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*"

"A guy asked me who's chips and cheese that is ""Nachos"""

"Congress just passed a bill that makes it legal to murder those friends who respond to a text by calling you."

"What is a nudist's favourite alcoholic drink? A daiquiri."

"I have boobs & a calculator. Math is irrelevant."

"Black friday, ughhhh ALL FRIDAYS MATTER!"

"A feminist was asking me how i watch lesbian relationships unfortunately, in HD was the wrong answer."

"Teacher: Jimmy what is a shih tzu? Jimmy: Excuse me miss? Teacher: A shih tzu Jimmy, a shih tzu? Jimmy: A zoo with no animals miss."

"What do you call a fish in a hurry? Salman Rushdie."