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Joke of the Day

"I may not be able to out run the zombies when they come, but this cheeseburger is going to make me taste great"

"I like Mitt Romney because he looks like the model in every stock photo of a businessman on a flip phone in 2002."

"I haven't gained weight. I'm just retaining cookies."

"The price of a balloon has really gone up recently I think it's because of inflation"

"When I die... When I die I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his sleep. Not screaming in pain like the passengers in his car."

"Why r/Jokes has too much tiny jokes? Thus you can move on to the next one faster"

"What did the really ugly man do for a living ? He posed for Halloween masks !"

"What do you call Chinese soup made by a Mexican? Juan-ton soup"

"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes."

"When someone ends a sentence with ""af"" they were hastily trying to type ""A FALCON DESCENDS UPON ME"" but could not make it in time."