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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the doctor He says, ""Doc, I got a problem. I take a huge shit every morning at 8."" The doctor asks, ""How is that a problem?"" The man says, ""I don't wake up until 10:30."""

"We broke up, but she said we could still be cousins. Merica."

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Only a hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"I heard that #TheDress debate has already destroyed 18 relationships. These people probably shouldn't be breeding anyway."

"Give a man a fish and he'll be like, ""Dude I'm allergic to fish."" TEACH a man to fish and he'll be like, ""THTOP I THAID IM ALLERGIC TO FITH"""

"How do you describe Catwoman in one word? Purrfect"

"Sorry I called animal control about your children but I really think those tranquilizer darts did the trick."

"Incidentally, the WORST trick the Devil ever pulled was trying to convince the world he wasn't fat by wearing a t-shirt in the pool."

"What do you attach to a transgender chicken? Dez Nuts!"

"Clever Insult joke If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level."