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Joke of the Day

"Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her New Year's resolution was. She said ""fuck you"". So i'm pretty excited about 2017."

"I thought my neighborhood had turned very pro-Trump... Turns out they just put out their jack-o-lanterns."

"`That cut looks bad. You should go to the hospital for stitches. ""Nah."" ""Fine, suture self."""

"what do vegan zombies eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaains..."

"Q: Why was the cat afraid of the tree? A: Because of its bark."

"What's the best way to make your wife angry during sex? Call her and tell her where you are."

"What do you call a terrible performance of Han Solo: The Musical? A rebel without applause."

"Stablehand: Wanna hear a funny joke? Horse: Neigh!"

"What do you put on big rusty boobs? Double D 40"

"My sex life is like Star Wars Its either Hans Solo or I have to use the force..."