69523

Joke of the Day

"`That cut looks bad. You should go to the hospital for stitches. ""Nah."" ""Fine, suture self."""

"*picks up bug, puts it outside* There ya go. *later, bug smashes thru door carrying gun* You should have killed me when you had the chance"

"What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shellfies!"

"[creation] GOD: Let's name some of you bugs FLY: Me first! GOD: Okay...Fly FLY: Hell yeah! BUTTERFLY: Now me! GOD: Hmm...Butterfly FLY: Sonuvab-"

"Why was the sick eagle in prison? Because she was illegal."

"What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the Negav desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it? here in my mirage got this jew labor genie here"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? No seatbelt."

"What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel."

"The thing about penis jokes is.. they tend to grow on you."

"What type of overalls does Mario wear? Denim denim denim."