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Joke of the Day

"Just finished my Sexual Violence Prevention and Awareness Training. It was very informative and I feel much safer. Plus I totally raped the quiz at the end, 100%."

"I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor."

"how many corrections officers does it take to throw an inmate down the stairs? none he fell"

"I was dismissed from my responsibilities as church usher because I kept using finger guns to point out available seats. * pew pew *"

"So I saw an internet survey the other day... and apparently 99.87% of the population was born on the 1st of January! How very strange!"

"Did you hear about the man who bought a bucket load of Tipp-ex last week? Big mistake."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea? I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face."

"Hydrogen walks into a bar and yells ""Oh no! I've lost my electron!"" The bartender says, ""Are you sure?"" ""I'm positive!"""

"Did you guys hear about the mob of comedians? It was a riot."

"A wolf in a river didn't know w(h)ere it was, so it how-led and an owl ""who'd"" back. The wolf replied ""What?"""