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Joke of the Day

"I was dismissed from my responsibilities as church usher because I kept using finger guns to point out available seats. * pew pew *"

Next Joke
 
"I'm split on the topic of abortion.... On one hand I don't want to give women rights. But on the other hand I love killing babies."
"Happy birthday to rapper Pitbull who is 34 today, or 238 in dog years for all the other Pitbulls."
"My Glee Club is just a baseball bat that I use to hit happy people over the head with."
"Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn't hear you the first 100 times."
"I was going to tell a dull pencil joke but it's pointless"
"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb"
"To me, God will always be that guy that could've made Pokemon or Star Wars real but instead was all like, ""Nah bruh, malaria and AIDS."""
"These ebola jokes are terrible! They're making my eyes bleed"
"What did the dubstep valentine's day card say? I wub you"