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Joke of the Day

"This goes with this goes with this goes with this goes with this goes with this goes with ... It`s two lepers getting themselves back together after some aggressive sex."

"[their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it"

"In dog beers I've only had 2."

"*orders pepperoni pizza* Her: you need to start taking better care of yourself. *calls back, adds mushrooms*"

"What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda!"

"What would be a more appropriate name for spiderman? Peter parkour."

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend got mad at me for busting a nut. It's not like I could eat it with the shell on."

"Policeman: Why did you lead me on a high-speed chase? Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slow one."

"Why did the Amish woman get pregnant? Because she was seeing too many Mennonite."

"Kid: Dad, what does ironic mean? Dad: Well son, when 2 people decide to get married on Independence Day....."