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Joke of the Day
"Woman's world cup- USA vs JAPAN who gives a fuck..."
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"COP: [flashes his light into my car] ME: *struggles to roll down window* ""Sorry this isn't my car."""
"So I went to a feminist picnic the other day. It was great, but no one would make me a sandwich."
"At geography class Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him: - Where's England, Jon? He proudly answers: - Page 83."
"What's a Buddhist's favorite physics law? Om's Law."
"The fire service is attending to a man who is trapped after falling into a vat of bourbon at the Jim Beam factory. Although, he is said to be in good spirits."
"WAITER: Your honor, when I said ""enjoy your meal"" he said ""you too"" ME: it was a mistake JUDGE: he gets half your meal W: thanks J: you too"
"Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs."
"Once the president of Taiwan gave a speech for two hours He burned a fuse"
"[lumberjack interview] BOSS: I'm gonna ""axe"" you a few questions. Haha do you get it? ME: Yeah I ""saw"" that coming BOSS: Ooo welcome aboard!"