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Joke of the Day

"I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed."

"Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*"

"Did you hear about the Korean who entered the lottery? He won one billion won."

"Customer: ""Do you sell a 'best of' Enya album here?"" Cashier: ""What do you want - a blank CD?"""

"a keyboard walks into a barbershop on the international space station ""i just want an easy, short cut"". then he hit the bar"

"[in bed] Her: Easy, cowboy. I'm not having unprotected sex. Me: No worries! Her: Where are you going? Me: To lock the front door. Her: ..."

"I treat women like I do numbers.... If they're under 16, do them in your head."

"How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb? 14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house."

"A pirate walks into a bar The bartender says ""Hey, you have a steering wheel in your pants."" ""Aye,"" the pirate replies. ""It's drivin' me nuts!"""

"What is the difference between sex and LEGO? If you don't know you should stick to the LEGO!!"