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Joke of the Day

"My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree."

"""We will never forget."" Of course not, we're brainwashed and controlled by fear."

"Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code"

"Knock knock (Palestinian version)... ...who's there? - Ya - Ya who? - Yahudi!"

"what did the cornflake say to the other cornflake? Hi cornflake. don't blame me... you clicked on it... what did you expect?"

"What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom A pick pocket snatches watches."

"u cant teach an old fern new tricks. u cant teach any fern any tricks. basicaly a fern makes for a verey disobedient pet"

"I know you shouldn't text and drive but I've only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive."

"When god created Adam, she said: ""I've got good news and bad news.... ...good news is, I'm giving you a penis AND a brain. Bad news is, I'm only giving you enough blood to use one at a time."""

"What did Pontius Pilate say to Jesus? If you drop that damn Cross again you are out of my Parade."