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Joke of the Day
"Headed to a funeral. #yolo"
Next Joke
"I eat my pop tarts frozen like the vikings used to have them."
"LPT: Always make sure to post to the correct subreddit. It is an embarrassing mistake and most people will think you're an idiot."
"Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer? Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one."
"My house is the only one on our street with Christmas lights up I guess the rest of the neighbours are a bunch of Jews"
"I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone."
"When someone shows you a picture of their kid the one thing they don't wanna hear is... ""Oh yeah I have some photos of your kid too"""
"I'm pretty sure this zombie fad is dead ... But for how long?"
"I saw two kids fighting on the elementary school playground... Being the only adult around, I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."
"What type of train gets fat? A chew chew train..."