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Joke of the Day

"I know you shouldn't text and drive but I've only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive."

"Why doesn't anyone like jelly donuts? They have fillings too..."

"My thumb keeps attacking my pinky... I've got a civil war on my hands!"

"Been married so long it's almost like a first date. Husband is always wondering if he's even gonna make it to 1st base."

"!false It's funny because it's true"

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute. The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again Edit-1 hopefully she/he washes it"

"What's the difference between peanut-butter and jam ? You can't peanut-butter it into her ass !"

"Yo momma so fat, the closer you get to her, the slower time passes for you in relation to an observer outside her gravitational pull."

"Oh no! Playstation and Xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U."

"How do you make an Italian plumber cry? You kill his family"