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Joke of the Day

"A guy just offered to buy me a drink. I declined, but heard him say lesbo to his pal. I replied ""Only for you, baby"". Now he feels special."

"It's not about the sacrifices you have to make, it's about making sure your knife is sharp and they can't wiggle away."

"There are only two reasons to hate gay marriage. Either you're dumb or you're secretly worried that dicks are delicious."

"Have you ever met a vegan that does crossfit? Oh you'd know if you had."

"The Manager you asked to speak to doesn't give a fuck either."

"[Obama giving Trump the White House tour] O: and here's the toaster, it tends to stick so don't be afraid to jam a fork in to get it workin"

"Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro."

"Listen Mrs. Potato Head, you are married. No matter how many times you open your ass to me, I'm not doing it. Drunk Irish whore."

"Ebay products are like sex You look at it online a lot but never see it in real life"

"Sorry about all the typos lately, gays."