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Joke of the Day

"There are only two reasons to hate gay marriage. Either you're dumb or you're secretly worried that dicks are delicious."

"...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool."

"Girl are you a plumber? Cause i wanna make you moen"

"Coldplay is doing charity work in an African hospital. They met a few jaundice patients. Chris Martin said 'It was great. They were all yellow'"

"What's Snoop Dogg's favourite chocolate bar? Sniggas."

"What do you call a midget physic that escaped from jail? A small medium at large."

"Stickiest things in the world: 3) Lollipops 2) Glue 1) Children's library books"

"If you rearrange the letters of Fat Tuesday it becomes Fatty as Due. I don't know what that means but as you can tell I'm really bored."

"What did David Bowie want for Christmas? Carrie Fisher."

"SOON I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOUR HEROES AND TAKE MY PLACE AS YOUR WORLD LEADER BUT FIRST WHAT IS YOUR MOM'S CASSEROLE RECIPE IT IS DELIGHTFUL"