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Joke of the Day

"You really inspire me to be a bitter person."

"I remember the first time I had sex... I still have the receipt :')"

">be 17 >miss [(For those who don't get it)](http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2012/4/4/1333548711318/Battleship-board-game-001.jpg)"

"I can't wait to be 80 & nostalgic over the time I spent staring at my phone screen."

"Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s? Because beans always fall through the grill."

"What do you say when you are trying to comfort a grammar nazi? There, their, they're"

"What does a mathematics professor do when he is constipated? He works it out with a pencil."

"ME: Billions of bacteria live on and inside my body INTERVIEWER: I meant tell me about yourself job-wise"

"What do you call 717 dead Hajj pilgrims? A good start. My grandfather died making the Hajj; he fell out of a guard tower. Where do Black Muslims go? The back of the stampede!"

"Did you know that camels can last longer without water than sex? They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump."