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Joke of the Day

"A vampire masturbating into a mirror. You didn't see that coming."

"[The Justice League on patrol] Superman: Wait! I smell something fishy... Batman:*chuckles* Aquaman: Know what? Screw you guys. I'm going home"

"The strip club around the corner got its liquor license revoked. I'll still go there for breakfast, but I'll have to order the regular OJ."

"What do you call a blind german? A not see"

"My pastor said the day gay marriage was made fully legal in the US was worse than 9/11."

"*I* actually went through with a threesome. There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."

"It's so cold... I saw a gangsta pulling up his pants"

"What do you call a pen without style? Stylus."

"I needed to get a treasure hunter's attention so I shouted ""AU!"""

"What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween? Depressed"