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Joke of the Day

"""i'm positive i can find a wrong way to eat a Reese's"" i say as i begin drilling a hole directly into my stomach"

"Why do wrestlers love video games? Because of the lutte"

"No, I can't come to your wedding. I just realized the remote works through the blanket."

"I have no idea why these women called me a massaging gymnast All I said was that women belong in the kitchen."

"what is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? one is heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"I'm Not Fucking Stupid .... ... I mean I used to, but we broke up."

"Pix and Misc - Teacher win [pic]"

"Pants Up Don't Loot"

"I told the boys at the pub that the first thing I will do if I win the lottery is buy a couple of rounds... of ammunition to keep all you losers away."

"Just so you know, you will be asked to leave the funeral if you do a drum solo on the coffin...no matter how epic it is"