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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump, an asshole, and an evil masterminds walks into a bar... He sits down and orders a drink."

"""What if I tried to put a ball somewhere and you tried to stop me"" -guy who invented sports"

"What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket? He got off on a technicality"

"Obama turns 52 today. Republicans vote to repeal it."

"I'm in the mood to multiply"

"Seriously, get off the computer once in a while... smell the roses... volunteer... show your balls to a turtle... make a ham fort..."

"What does Bill Gates call his manhood? Microsoft."

"*Girl attempting to count to ten* girl 1: 1....3....5....7....9.... girl 2: What the hell? Why are you skipping numbers? girl 1: Because I can't even!!!"

"I just spent the last four hours connecting all of my watches together to make a belt. Complete waist of time."

"Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!"