115607

Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""Hey sexy, the kids are asleep, I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear."" Me: ""OK, ... the bathroom....the kitchen....your car..."""

"What is a composer's favorite vegetable? Bach choy."

"One i made up for my mexican friends. If a Rabbi blesses food it's kosher. What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest? A: HOLY MOLE' Thank you, I'll be in r/dadjokes all week!"

"Almost yelled ""F.U."" at another driver, but the kid was in the car. So I yelled, ""I'm dedicated to customer service."" Just like airlines do."

"So archaeologists found another Dead Sea Scroll... They opened it up, and read: GENESIS 1:0 ""Before the beginning, there was Chuck Norris. And Chuck Norris said, 'Let there be God.'"""

"what would happen if all the rattatas died? They would be eraticated"

"Why do Native Americans hate snow? It's white and it's all over their land."

"""Very colorful, fun. I'd put it in my mouth"" ""A bit scary, seems sharp. Still, I'd put it in my mouth"" -Baby reviews of stuff on the floor"

"What do gays and Donald Trump have in common? They're fucking assholes."

"What's best about a sixteen year old girl? Her fourteen year old best friend."