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Joke of the Day

"I went to a baseball game with my dad last night. It was pretty fun, we even got on the jumbotron! Then I noticed it was the Emotional Unavailability Cam."

"""This is where the magic happens."" - Harry Potter walking into his bedroom and every other room on MTV Cribs."

"I was offered a job working as medieval escort. Unfortunately, I turned it down because I would have to work fucking knights."

"Epic camping trip last weekend!! It was in tents."

"Lady, your baby needs to chill. This is MY Binky. I found it fair and square after ""someone"" threw it on the ground. Finders keepers."

"What do you call a dog with lice in China? Full course dinner"

"Waitress: Can I take this out of the way for you? Me: [glances at wife] uh...sure Wife: SHE MEANS THE PLATE, IDIOT"

"Naked man doing jumping jacks... db qp db qp db qp db qp"

"What does a catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common.....They both came in a little behind"

"Want to have a haircut like Jesus? Just ask for the ""What Would Jesus 'Do!"""