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Joke of the Day

"My iPhone is currently updating so I have to tweet from my computer like some Ethiopian kid."

"What's an Australian's favorite element? Gold"

"What is the difference between a gun and a feminist? A gun only has one trigger"

"What's funnier than a turd burg? Two turd burgs, fuck face!"

"I was masturbating when I heard some one scream ""Help"". So I came as fast as I could."

"""Oh fuck, of course!"" -unicycler seeing a bicycle"

"#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A raccoon and a tree commit multiple felonies"

"My girlfriend always keep her boobs pressed against my face when she asks me for expensive things.She calls it the ""Booby trap"""

"[first date] HER: I totally love Nirvana ME: Oh yeah? Name one of their albums HER: Nevermind ME Okay, forget about it then"

"Why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a registered six offender."