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Joke of the Day
"""Oh fuck, of course!"" -unicycler seeing a bicycle"
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"LPT: When weightlifting, always have a friend videotape it. Because the camera always adds 10 pounds."
"Parent/Child conversation tweets are always so cute & sweet! Thought I'd try one: 18: Can I borrow the car? Me: No Wasn't that adorable?!"
"[sketchy parking lot] stranger: hey man, can you jump my car? me: maybe if i get a running start"
"Why pink camo? Do people hunt barbie jeeps or try to sneak up on pepto bismol?"
"Why do melons always have church weddings? Because they cantaloupe."
"What is a Roman wrestlers favorite meal? JOHN CENA"
"What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids? A real hootenanny!"
"What does ""Maginot Line"" get translated to in English? Speed bump ahead"
"[using Ouija Board] ""Will i ever find true love--"" ""NEW GHOST WHO DIS"""