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Joke of the Day

"Harrison Ford has broken his ankle. There will now be a new Star Wars cast."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who past his uncle in the jungle?"

"Q: Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school? A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!"

"Nicki Minaj knows we can see her, right?"

"I just ran over a tree, a 5'2"" blonde screaming tree with a purse."

"If we put pictures of lost kids on beer cans instead of milk cartons, we'd find them in about 15 minutes."

"Why do emo's always act so sour? Because you can't spell Lemon without emo."

"Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident and called from the hospital about the four casts."

"Doctors just told me I have ""stripper lung"" from inhaling too much brass polish & if I go back to ""JIGGLERS"" again I'll die."

"[getting a checkup] DOCTOR: On average, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: *sweating* NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE ANY MATH"