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Joke of the Day

"What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)"

"Feline-loving fashionista's favorite music? Techno. *boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats*"

"Used way too much moisturizer and I may have to call in slick tomorrow."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by a chick."

"[Job Interview] *okay, he can't find out I'm a wolf* *fixes tie* *checks breath* IS THAT A PICTURE OF YOUR BABY SHE LOOKS DELICIOUS"

"Do you like fish sticks?"

"What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks."

"Raise the roof! The roof is on fire! Hit the club! Bust those moves! Burning the dance floor! - RL partying sounds so violent"

"How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer the dark."

"The U.K. has no money Sorry for poor English"