115338

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner."

"How to catch a polar bear Cut a hole in the ice. Surround the hole with frozen peas. When the bear walks up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!"

"My buddy joined Christian Mingle... it's going pretty well, He got nailed three times in one night."

"Did you hear about the dog that's become the first to officially own pieces of art? He's the first dog to be able to lick his own Pollocks"

"If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked me for money... I'd still say no."

"What's the difference between the Mafia and the Government? Only one of them is organized."

"I heard a Sean Connery film once got am R rating Because he said ""sit"" too many times Edit: shit didn't proofread the title, *an* not *am*"

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, ""It smells fishy around here."""

"As a white person, I have a primal fear of getting lost in the snow."

"Why couldn't the cat walk through the door? it had a javelin through it's head."