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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner."

"I wish I could date Pokemon GO's servers Because then she'd go down on me 5 times a day."

"Two prostitutes are standing on the corner. One asked the other, ""Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before?"" The prostitute replies, ""No, but I've been swung by my tits."""

"What do Mexicans use to cut a pizza? Little Caesar's"

"was thinking i would go away this easter. figured i would just hang around instead. its what jesus would have done"

"I am sorry I wasn't being completely honest when I said I was normal."

"""PSST."" It came from my waffles. ""PSST,"" again. ""What?"" I ask, furtively. ""You look really nice today."" Complimentary Breakfast"

"How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? Fuck that. It's the nurse's job."

"Sometimes it's fun to randomly shout, ""Hey, asshole!"" in a crowd, just to see who turns around."

"My vacuum sucks So I decided to sell mine, it was just collecting dust."