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Joke of the Day

"How many Sandpeople does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You never can tell. The Sandpeople always ride in single file to hide their numbers."

"Thank you student loans for getting me through college I don't think I can ever repay you."

"Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery"

"Diablo 3 Horrible Choices Made Dear Diary... Today we chose to let our friend Wookie play ET Wizard... Now we all have new necklaces made out of rope."

"ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE? ""Haha a man obviously"" *Detective places cheese on table* *suspect starts to sweat*"

"I only make mistakes when I'm around people who are observant."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the restroom? Because the ""p"" is silent!"

"[hamster construction site] ""Colin, you seen Dave?"" I left him manning the concrete mixer ""Oh no"" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]"

"[lays down] Me: Feels so good to close my eyes. Brain: We should think about a fire evacuation plan."

"Love means never having to say you're sorry until you've thought up a good excuse."