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Joke of the Day

"[lays down] Me: Feels so good to close my eyes. Brain: We should think about a fire evacuation plan."

"A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. ""Help!"" cried the cellist ""I can't swim!"" ""Don't worry"" said the violist ""just fake it."""

"My terrible Joke but I never forget it. A dyslexic man walked into a bra...."

"If a man was born in England raised in America and died in Spain what does that make him? Dead."

"I'm a good driver until there is a cop behind me Then I become a paranoid weed transporter from the border"

"Can you repeat the part after ""Listen very carefully""?"

"what if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside"

"Why did Hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi"

"As a husband and father, it troubles me that prisoners are still being given time in solitary confinement when I would gladly pay for some."

"And The Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" ...but John came in fifth and won a toaster."